Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
