It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I would ride that face into the sunset
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
