got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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