so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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