Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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