Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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