I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
