I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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