So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize