Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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