don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
