We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
