Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
