Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
