How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
sex in a hospital.. check
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
