Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
