go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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