ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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