i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
