see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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