When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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