Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
