I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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