it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
