If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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