Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
