it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
