Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
