...so i touched it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize