i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
