Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
