I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
