How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
