I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Randomize
