so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
