im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
