You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize