He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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