The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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