My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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