Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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