My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
