Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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