How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i will never coherently bang her
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
