Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
