If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
