he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
