i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
