If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
