just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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