I showed him my bush... on skype.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
