I want to make a zoo with you.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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