So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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