Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
