if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize