Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
