It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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