i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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