In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
