we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
