if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
